How to Relax

What makes a great puzzler? Attention, focus, holding many things in your head at once... So it may seem surprising that puzzling is so relaxing!

The paradox is resolved by knowing that the key to relaxing is feeling   in control.

As Penn State researcher David Almeida puts it, even small boosts in perceived control make it more likely that we feel like we can handle our daily hassles, and that, in turn, helps emotions settle.

Control is a skill, "strengthened through practical strategies such as setting priorities or reframing what's within reach." As we get older, not only do we have more control, but that feeling of being in control actually helps us get better at handling stress! And so many adults drift towards deeply analog, individual pastimes: Puzzling. Knitting. Crosswords.

Analog hobbies are little control machines. Things work in predictable ways according to rules we can know, there is feedback, and progress, which in 2026 is luxurious. A puzzle piece fits. A stitch holds. The universe behaves predictably.

Compare this to many of our supposed relaxation activities. Scrolling our bottomless feeds. Contemplating inboxes with emails you're scared to open. Interacting with these environments feels passive and you might expect them to be relaxing, but they erode our sense of agency and can actually leave you feeling less in control. 

What the Penn State research suggests is that relaxation isn't just about less demands on us. It's about empowering our sense that we can handle our lives.

Which is why so many of us, after a long day of modernity, enjoy doing something with our hands in the real world. We can exert a level of control over our puzzles. Nobody can take this corner piece from you. You decide if you want to work on the sky or the elephant. Your nervous system, for once, is running the meeting.

If the world feels a bit much lately, the prescription is modest: find a pocket of life where the rules are clear, the wins are visible, and the pieces go exactly where you put them.